MONDAY MONDAY MONDAY MONDAY MONDAY
Yes sir this is about how today felt to me! Not sure if last week finally caught up or just the emotions of these past few weeks have finally started tugging on me. The good thing is that in a few hours we start a new day. We had a BUSY day at the PIT today, between 40 rookie Barnie Fife's (OCSO) being tested and the usual Pit members. There was not any down time which really helped keep me focused on a day when my mind wanted to wander. Squats were harder today but ended well and I had Big Ted Smith doing them with me so that was a plus. today went like so..135x3, 185x1, 225x1, 255x1, 275x1, 305x1 and last was 325x1. Brother Ted passed on a hug for ya Shakey! I was looking at one of my books tonight and wanted to share a few words from it with you brother....
" In weakness, strength is discovered; in wretchedness is joy; in the abyss of nothingness is the fruit of grace. And so we need not escape ourselves to find peace or joy, for while spirituality is always beyond, it is discovered first within."
Inside you and inside me is the ability to make the change, to find the hope the courage to do battle, to let go of doubt, to love those around us, to forgive. I use to think that my circumstances and people had to change for me to feel better....and I was wrong because in reality it has nothing to do with anything but ME. If i want a better world then I must be the change I want to see in others. I finally quit asking God to change so and so, or change this or that and started asking HIM to allow me to have the courage needed to let go of my anger, to trust others, to believe, to love people I didn't want to love. I found out I needed to LET GO of more things than anything else. Holding on to things was keeping me a prisoner, they were things I couldn't touch my friend BUT i could sure feel them. AND by learning to let go I found Grace, Freedom and the best part was I could breathe again as if a deep root had been ripped from my gut. I'm not real sure why I went with this brother it just came out. Well you have a wonderful night and I will be with you tomorrow, on here and in heart. Know that people tell me daily how much they love and miss you. Keep fighting.
Love ya, Bully
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